A word that is so often treated as a curse in our community. Feminism is often used to disarm, belittle and derail arguments with women. “lets not get all feminist about this” “I don’t like feminists” is something I hear all too often even at times when discussing things that aren’t originally feminist discussions. But men make it about feminism by bringing it up, purely because I am a woman and therefor any argument or opinion I have is tied into me being a feminist.
Sexism is something that is all around us, just because you might not see someone openly and violently saying hateful things against women, doesn’t mean that there isn’t sexism. Jokes heard everyday become norm. These jokes shape the way our community see us and therefor add to not only blatant but also casual sexist behaviour. All too often when in leadership roles I have to listen to men “joke” to me that us women kicked all the men out. Or “what happened to all the men? You took over” We didn’t kick anyone out; we were elected or hired to our roles. We worked hard to be there. If a job isn’t being done well, say so but don’t say a job is being done well and then follow it by saying that there aren’t enough men and that we kicked them away or base your opinion of who you think should be in leadership roles based on gender. These things are not acceptable to say at all let alone say it to me and expect me to laugh along to your verbal slap in the face. These sexist jokes and comments are the mud that holds the bricks together to build a house of patriarchy.
Why is it that men feel their masculinity is being threatened by the prospect of a women leading? If masculinity is truly so strong, why is it that it can be threatened so easily? I’ve come to realise that masculinity is weak if it needs to be so defended and so hurt by the presence of women in society.
I’m saying this to all the Muslim men, if you see and hear this behaviour when your sisters aren’t around, don’t laugh along, stop it right there and say it’s not acceptable. Even if you don’t agree with the comments, don’t laugh or stay silent waiting for the conversation to skip on. Stop it there, you may think a joke is harmless but it’s not. When you hear these comments and jokes everyday it’s disgusting. So stop it and don’t be apart of it because by not saying anything you’re allowing it to happen and contributing to the problem. Silence is oppressions best friend.
Muslim men, I want to ask you a question. What would our prophet (SAW) say or think after hearing some of the comments and jokes by the men in our community? Would he be proud to hear them said? Would he stand by and listen to such comments and stay in silence no matter how big or small they were? Next time you hear a comment or joke about a woman leading or about women in general, ask yourself these questions and re assess how you feel.
“Let no Muslim man entertain any bad feeling against a Muslim woman. If he should dislike one quality in her, he will find another that is pleasing..” - Mohammed (SAW)
Iftar in a nutshell
What happens to my motivation at 3pm while fasting
That complete control and will power when fasting
When my pizza is delivered at precisely sun down
Loving all the love tonight, usually the anon messages i get aren’t so positive. Shout out to all the queer muslims out there, you rock and don’t forget it!
Just another example that there are plenty of us out here, we should stick together and support each other. Lots of love to all of you.
My Iftar face during Ramadahn
Hey there, there’s plenty of us queer muslims out here, you’re in no way alone. I feel that my faith and sexuality doesn’t have to be compromised, I can live with both, they’re intersectional and in no way mutually exclusive. I’m sorry to hear about the things your mother has said but the fact that she’s still around may mean that in time she’ll come around, and if she doesn’t just remember that there are a lot of people who care about you, anytime you want to chat i’m always about.